Fall. Apart.

This is the situation I hate the most........I have promised to let go but in fact I still can't. Too selfish I think I am, keras kepala juga. Situasi udah berubah dan gue tetep pengen semuanya kayak dulu waktu semuanya gak kayak gini. Tapi begonya gue masih ngarep orang bego. Padahal gue tau dia&segala tentang dia tapi tetep aja gabisa. Emang semuanya butuh waktu&buat gue butuh waktu lama to heal this. &Tuhan emang udah buat semua seperti mauNya, dia pergi dengan cara yang mendadak ini mungkin jadi jalan satu-satunya, walaupun sakit rasanya ditinggal dalam keadaan kangen. Dia punya hidup, &you are not the only thing in his life. Jangan jadi orang egois, you still have a freedom, you know, God still busy write my love story.

Untitled.

So...hey! Entah kenapa gue sekarang merasa setiap hari jadi useless&I don't have a spirit like I used to have. Semakin males sekolah, semakin males belajar, semakin ingin tidur aja di rumah terus gak bangun-bangun. Bukannya struggle for national exams but I just don't do something. Like I want to sleep&never wake up again. Maybe I'm still living in my past&don't want to look forward. I wish I would get my spirit again, &I wish everything would be still alright to God.

Have you prayed about it as much as you've talked about it?

Matthew 21:22

Super panic!

I have been slept for 2hours&I have been let my skype still being on. &when I woke up to check it I just called him&her in the same time...........panik gaksih? Waktu gue tidur tabnya ada di bapake&he said he didn't use my skype. Sebelum dipake bokap kayaknya sih dipake ije but he said the same words too. Yaudah karena "her" masih on gue tanya sama doi, and luckily she said she didn't receive the call notify from me. So I thought "he" wouldn't receive too. Bagus deh biar gue gak dikira nyari2.

Time flies, people change, memories don't.

If I told you I could give these up, I lied. Honestly, I just miss my old times, just want to go back to the times that made my life so happy but just can't, including the times when I was with you closely. Because even time flies so fast&people change, memories still be a place for us to remember even if we can't stay forever. &you have made me in love with you. I have been heard Untitled by Maliq for this one day&I didn't get bored. I can't hold you more tight again because I'm just wasting my time, like I'm waiting for nothing. I have given up but I'm still hoping that you would do the same with me, yes, chasing me. But you didn't.

Colors.

I don't know why I wanna post this but I am interesting about colors, and yeah when I went to bookstore with my friend 3 days ago to buy some tools for her drawing class I just found some cool color names:

Cadmium. Barium. Canary. Acid. Napoli. Mignonette. Chartreuse. Anise. Celadon. Putty. Nile. Veronese. Malachite. Verdigris. Teal. Flagstone. Frost. Tahitian. Robin's Egg. Cyanine. Lapis Lazuli. Phthalo. Manganise. Ultramarine. Mahogany. Antwerp. Burnt Sienna. Bereley Beige. Suntan. Redwood. Caribe Cocoa. Burnt Umber. Brick Beige. Dull Ivory. Lionet. Hydrangea. Mauve. Crimson. Ochre. Cerise. Sardonyx. Prussian. Agate. Maize. Fluorite. Vermilion. Clematis. Stratospheric. Cashmere. Prune. Marigold.

Some of those names covered with some colors that we have known, like Frost Blue, Cadmium Red, et cetera. I love Mauve&Lapis Lazuli.

Learn to let him go, wino. He's not yours. Let God busy writing your love story. Think about the perfect guy that God give to you sooner.

The worst feelings.

When you bored as hell.
When you have a big crush on someone&you can't lie that you love his smile&his silly&his freaking attitude.
When you want a little bit refreshing  but you can't do it because some reasons that make you are so busy.
When you have an appointment but it hasn't done.
When you can't go anywhere because your parents tell you to study for better future.
When you have some options that make you feel dizzy about study abroad.
When you give up on someone who gives you no decision.
When you miss that guy who makes you feel annoyed because he is pretending to be a stupid person.
When you are compared by somebody with a person from different culture.
When you still check your phone but you realize that he isn't there.
When you stuck on memories he made.
When you are like not needed by everybody.
When you realized the only way was moved forward.
When you feel so alone.
When you have to get something you struggled but it just was gotten.
When you caught a conversation between our crush with another girl in midnight.
When you ended up your conversation with him because you have given up&you have promised you didn't want to hurt yourself anymore.
When you know you are so exaggeration in limit.
When you are blamed by a person but not depend on your fault&you just keep your mouth not because you can't defend but you are tired to shut their mouth, just wasting your time.
When you get attention by ignoring but they are ignoring you too&it's not fair.
When you have been waiting God's answers.
When you are too selfish but you have a big compassion.

Postviewer

Who stalks my page? kalo yang soal curhat curhat gitu banyak yang liat kalo yang gak begitu penting kaga diliat.........................& dash doesn't give information about postviewers-_- nyeh.

Last day of June

Like I said previous days ago, and yeah..................this is the deadline woohoooooooo. All my feelings aren't entirely changed but I can move forward soon. Goodbye June!

Beyi!

How cute you are!

Wrong Zayn

Both of us.

I wish I was strong enough

To lift not one but both of us

Someday I will be strong enough

To lift not one but both of us

B.o.B. featuring Taylor Swift - Both of us 

Random thoughts about you

She moves in her own way.

Yes. She moves in her own way by the Kooks. Udah janji kalo this end of june gue bakal move on. Udah capek sama semuanya. Udah capek ngejar lo yang gatau sampe kapan begini terus. Udah capek nungguin lo bales. Udah capek digantungin. Udah capek sama kebegoan lo yang jelas jelas udah jelas gue itu suka sama lo bahkan sampe lo diajak ngobrol sama temen gue supaya jadi. Udah capek sama every negative thoughts about you everyday. Udak capek mikirin lo. Udah capek.
Iya, mungkin lo terlalu baik. Lo yang terlalu baik sama semua cewe mungkin. Lo yang cuma mencari pelarian. Lo yang mungkin masih nginget ex-lo. Lo yang terlalu banyak acara&urusan yang gajelas yang gue gak ngerti juga. Lo yang udah buat gue jatuh cinta sebegitunya. Like I would stuck forever on you.
We're never meant to be, I think. I'm too selfish&you're too careless. I'm too agressive&you're too passive. Yeah, God gives me deadline of loving you. &maybe you're not mine. "Let him go. If he is back he's yours but if he is not, God will give the right guy soon." But, just so you know I will never regret for loving you, you're a kind person&your smile is so deadly beautiful. Oh, may God bless your life. &thanks for all the memories you gave, have a great life soon after you're moving to that country on August. I have one month to prepare all:) hope you don't forget me then.

Playlist

You're the reason of my sadness.

• Payphone by Maroon5 featuring Wiz Khalifa
• Skinny love by Birdy
• Only love can break your heart by the S.i.g.i.t.
• Thinking of you by Katy Perry
• Lebih indah by Adera
• Not a second to waste by a Rocket to the Moon
• Honeymoon on ice by the Trees and the Wild
• Nothing lasts forever by Maroon5
• Escapee by Architecture in Helsinki
• Painting flowers by All Time Low
• Come back down by Greg Laswell featuring Sara Bareiles
• The only exception by Paramore
• Runaway by Maroon5
• Hang you up by Yellowcard
• Baby blue eyes by a Rocket to the Moon
• Bruises by Chairlift
• Worry about you by 2am Club
• 6 months by Hey Monday
• The man who can't be moved by the Script
• Rocketship by Shane Harper
• The fighter by Gym Class Heroes featuring Ryan Tedder
• Fix you by Coldplay
• Better that we break by Maroon5
• True love waits by Radiohead
• Far away by Tyga featuring Chris Richardson
• Fire and rain by Mat Kearney
• All I wanted by Paramore
• On your side by a Rocket to the Moon
• Picking up the pieces by Paloma Faith
• Both of us by B.o.B featuring Taylor Swift
• She will be loved by Maroon5
• Face to face by Divided by Friday
• I'm not your toy by La Roux
• Inside of you by the Maine
• She doesn't know by Valerius
• Tell me where it hurts by MYMP
• Bagaimana caranya by Souljah
• Maafkan by Ecoutez
• Anyone else but you by the Moldy Peaches
• I would do anything for you by Foster the People
• In case you didn't know by Olly Murs
• Every evening by 2am Club
• Smile by Uncle Cracker
• Two way monologue by Sondre Lerche
• Heartbeat by Tahiti80
• Pulang by Andien
• Malino by the Trees and the Wild
• Blue sky collapse by Adhitia Sofyan
• Stolen by Dashboard Confessional
• Thank you by Dikta
• Blue skies by Landon Pigg
• Iridescent by Linkin Park
• Mine by Taylor Swift
• Just a feeling by Maroon5

Weeping Willow

Weeping willow with your tears running down
Why do you always weep and frown?
Is it because he left you one day?
Is it because he couldn’t not stay?
On your branches he would swing
Do you love the happiness that he would bring?
He found shelter in your shade
We thought his laughter would never fade
Weeping willow stop your tears
There is something to calm your fears
You think death as you do forever part
I know he will always be in your heart

by Emma Jane Rae from the film “My Girl”

Always posted. I can't keep mine in this dash:(

Heyho! Udah lama gak ngeblog lagi. &gue juga baru sadar, this is blog and people can find&see this from founder like google. Gabisa cerita-cerita deep lagi deh wehehehe I just deleted some posts yang aib:p paling-paling gue curcol ajalah ya yang gak rahasia-rahasia banget:)

Climax.

Cry.

Only someone who can say 'I love you' is capable of saying 'I forgive you.'

-Paulo Coelho

Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.

- Paulo Coelho

This Too Shall Pass by OK Go

Get Fosterrrrrr♥

Guy: Get in the van I have candy.

Girl: No, thank you.

Guy: Get in the van I have Foster the People.

Girl: Okay.

The shit of distance

I want the sun burns me like this!

Can't

Concert.

Goes to concert: concert depression after it's finished.

Doesn't go to concert: concert depression for not going.

If I were a kid again.

World's explorer.

Words to keep.

• Quiescent - a quiet, soft-spoken soul.
• Chimerical - merely imaginary; fanciful.
• Susurrus - a whispering or rustling sound.
• Raconteur - one who excels in story-telling.
• Clinquant - glittering; tinsel-like.
• Aubade - a song greeting the dawn.
• Ephemeral - lasting a very short time.
• Sempiternal - everlasting; eternal.
• Euphonious - pleasing; sweet in sound.
• Billet-doux - a love letter.
• Redamancy - act of loving in return.

Believe that His way is the best way

Aku: Tuhan, bolehkah aku bertanya sesuatu?
Tuhan: Tentu.
Aku: Tapi janji, Engkau tidak marah.

Tuhan: Ya, janji.

Aku: Kenapa Kau mengizinkan banyak 'hal' terjadi padaku hari ini?

Tuhan: Maksudnya?

Aku: Aku bangun terlambat.

Tuhan: Ya.

Aku: Mobilku membutuhkan waktu yang lama untuk menyala.

Tuhan: Oke.

Aku: Roti burger yang kupesan dibuat tidak seperti pesananku, sehingga aku malas memakannya.

Tuhan: Hmmm.

Aku: Di jalan pulang, hpku tiba-tiba mati saat aku berbicara mengenai bisnis besar.

Tuhan: Benar.

Aku: Dan terakhir, saat aku sampa di rumah, aku hanya ingin sedikit bersantai dengan mesin pijat refleksi yang baru aku beli. Tapi itu tidak nyala! Tidak ada yang berjalan benar hari ini.

Tuhan: Biar Kuperjelas, ada malaikat kematian pagi tadi, dan Aku mengirimkan malaikatKu untuk berperang melawannya supaya tidak ada hal buruk terjadi padamu. Aku membiarkanmu tidur saat itu.

Aku: Oh, tapi,

Tuhan: Aku tidak membiarkan mobilmu menyala tepat waktu karena ada pengemudi yang mabuk lewat depan jalan dan akan menabrakmu.

Aku: (merunduk)

Tuhan: Salah satu pembuat burgermu hari ini sedang sakit, Aku tidak ingin kamu tertular makanya Aku membuatnya salah bekerja.

Aku: (malu)

Tuhan: Hpmu Aku buat mati karena mereka sebenarnya penipu, Aku tidak mungkin membiarkanmu tertipu. Dan lagi pula akan mengacaukan konsentrasimu dalam mengemudi bila ada yang menghubungimu kalau hpmu menyala.

Aku: (mata berkaca-kaca) aku mengerti Tuhan.

Tuhan: Oh, soal mesin pijat refleksi, Aku tau kamu belum membeli listrik, bila mesin itu dinyalakan maka itu akan mengambil banyak listrikmu, Aku yakin kamu tidak ingin berada dalam kegelapan.

Aku: (menangis) maafkan aku, Tuhan.

Tuhan: Tidak apa, tidak perlu meminta maaf. Belajarlah untuk percaya Aku. RencanaKu padamu lebih baik dari rencanamu sendiri.

Aku: Aku akan percaya padaMu. Dan biarkan aku untuk berterima kasih atas semuanya.

Tuhan: Sama-sama. Aku akan selalu bersamamu, menjagamu.

God bless.

Foster The People!

I SAW IT FOR THE FIRST TIME AND THEY WERE EFFIN' DAMN AWESOME!

Tapi sayaaaaaaang banget kamera gue rusak :'( so I couldn't  record them soooooo pathetic. Awkaaaay but I have watched Mark Foster!!!!!!! Oh HE'S DAMN DAMN HANDSOME WITH ALL THE STUFFS! Check this out:

Apollo 18

GNO(h)!

Heyho! Seru deeeeh kemaren gue abis kongko-kongko bertigaan sama sit&vi akhirnyaaaa setelah sekian lama tidak bertemu :''''''' miss them banget. Janjiannya ke rumah sit dulu baru cabut, kita ngobrol-ngobrol banyak gitu aaaaaaaah jadi kangen lagi :( terus cuma jalan bentar keliling mall gitu sama nonton Ghost Protocol, yaampun emang keren banget ya filmnya, Tom Cruisenya juga machooooow B) udah gitu sempet photobooth juga:

♥♥♥

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